'Battleship' sinking

What do a chicken burrito and a soccer game have in common?
They both had absolutely no purpose in the film.


Hasbro, You really did sink it.
You managed to turn a much loved children's board game into a multi-million dollar colossal waste of my time. While I was accompanied by some who enjoyed the film, I found it 2 hours of plot holes, unnecessary scenes an ridiculous sound effects. Yes, Transformers earned Michael Bay a lot of money - but how about for next films, Peter Berg (that use almost the identical story premise), you use actually some different sound tracks and special effects. Even the cinematography and computerized graphics I should have been impressed with only left me thinking "seen that, what's new?".
As for the direct and memorable movie quotes that were stolen - only Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher can get away with saying "I've got a bad feeling about this".

Scenes in Battleship (above) bore striking resemblence to special effects used in Transformers films (below)

And where did Rihanna come from by the way? Her acting is almost as brilliant as her voice without auto-tune. If you missed the sarcasm, she was terrible. The few actors that could have potentially saved the film from a complete dud to something semi-entertaining (Liam Neeson and Alexander Skarsgård) were in it nowhere near enough and Taylor Kitsch only showed us what we already learnt from John Carter: he has worse acting skills than my brother's old cat.

The only think Rihanna made me believe, was that she
was in fact terrible at being believable.

And if you are still interested in watching the train wreck of a film (you will regret it), do not see it with the tiniest inkling of a headache. The constant screeches of robotic (for some reason when it was supposed to be alien...just one of many flaws) sounds and more flashing lights than a Skrillex concert will leave you physically covering your eyes and ears on the verge of walking out of the cinemas. I wouldn't even take my younger male cousins to see this as a typical fast-paced explosion type movie - it honestly was that bad.